Bullying is a traumatic experience that can have a lasting impact on individuals, shaping various aspects of their lives. One expected outcome of being bullied is the development of a people-pleasing tendency. But why do some survivors of bullying become eager to please others? Let's explore the connection between bullying and people-pleasing.

1. The Need for Acceptance:
- Bullying often leaves deep emotional scars, causing individuals to crave acceptance and approval.
- To avoid further rejection, they may adopt people-pleasing behaviours to fit in and gain validation.

2. Fear of Confrontation:
- Bullying can instil a fear of confrontation. People-pleasers often avoid conflict, as past bullying experiences may have taught them that speaking up can lead to negative consequences.

3. Low Self-Esteem:
- Bullying can erode self-esteem and self-worth, making individuals doubt their value.
- People-pleasers seek external validation as they may not trust their judgment or self-assessment.

4. Coping Mechanism:
- Being a people-pleaser can be a coping mechanism to deal with past trauma.
- By making others happy and avoiding conflict, they attempt to create a sense of safety and control in their relationships.

5. Desire to Avoid Rejection:
- People-pleasers often go to great lengths to avoid being rejected or criticised, as bullying may have left them deeply scarred.
- They may prioritise others' needs and opinions over their own to prevent rejection.

6. External Locus of Control:
- Bullying can lead individuals to believe that external factors have significant power over their happiness.
- People-pleasers tend to focus on external factors (others' approval) to feel content rather than relying on their internal sources of happiness.

7. Unlearning Patterns:
- Overcoming people-pleasing behaviours can be challenging but is essential for personal growth.
- It requires unlearning the patterns developed to respond to bullying and rebuilding self-confidence and assertiveness.

Understanding the link between bullying and people-pleasing is a crucial step towards healing and personal growth. Survivors need to recognise that their past experiences do not define them and that they have the power to reshape their relationships and regain control over their lives. Seeking support from therapists or support groups can be a significant part of this journey towards breaking free from the people-pleasing cycle and building healthier, more assertive relationships.